Scars on Our Arms
by Staccato Stop
Summary: Can you drown on dry land? Can you suffocate in plain sight? EWE
1. Chapter 1

It's an affectation, the celebrity of all this, the celebrity of me. It is a cotton candy sweet confection pre-packaged for mass consumption. It looks delicious and desirable, but ultimately it leaves you feeling hollow. The intention behind our choices was never fame. We wanted to survive. But it came, like a tidal wave. Slowly the shoreline receded and I realized I wasn't wading in anonymity anymore. The water is rushing over me now and I am entangled in the undertow. I can hear a voice screaming and I know it is my own. I walked the line for so long. I could feel the mania thrumming in my veins. The urge to rush, to fall, to destroy is becoming overwhelming. I could hear crazy calling, but I resisted. But that urge to drown in the panic is growing. I could cut ties with reality; loosen the chokehold on my sanity. I can't live under the microscope anymore. You think you've been giving everything and you don't realize how much they've taken.

So today, I become a lost girl swallowed whole by a wave of expectation and artifice. Disappearing in the wash, return date unknown. I'd been treading water for so long, but my legs are tired now.

* * *

"She's gone."

"What do you mean gone?"


	2. Chapter 2

"She's gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

"All of her things are gone. She's nowhere to be seen. Landlord says she bought out the rest of her lease." Harry said looking around the empty apartment.

"I don't understand. She wouldn't just leave…She didn't say anything?" Ginny questioned. Harry shook his head and continued to look around the abandoned living room, confusion and worry painting his features.

Ron shrugged his shoulders in response to his sister's question, "I haven't seen her in awhile. Everything's been so damn busy, you know? We texted a bit earlier in the week, but you know me and mobiles."

He shrugged again and ran his hand through his hair, "She was upset about that story they ran early in the month. She rang me up last Wednesday. She was pretty drunk, but we've all been there. I didn't really think anything of it. I called her back in the morning and she seemed fine."

Ginny looked at her feet and shook her head, "They have been getting worse. Especially with the anniversary coming up, they're point blank making things up at this point." She wrapped her arms around herself, "We talked about disappearing before. That year we went back to Hogwarts…it would get to be too much, especially at night."

She dug her shoe into the ground, "You know those nights? The ones where you just know you aren't going to sleep…She said if she ever did it, she would just walk away. She could never do it if she had to say goodbye."

"Hell, I've thought about it." Harry responded as he jammed his hands into his jacket pockets.

"Me too, mate."

Harry gave the apartment one more once over, "I'll check some things out at work. I just want to be sure everything is on the up and up. No visible signs of forced entry, no evidence to suggest she was coerced, and I haven't detected any spell residue. Looks like she just decided to make a…uh, clean break." He scrubbed at his face with his hand and massaged the space between his eyes.

He looked so tired. That was the first thing Ginny noticed when she saw him. That and he looked so much older than he really was. The Boy Who Lived was a heavy mantle to hold,

"You alright?" She asked her eyes meeting his.

"Yeah…I can't believe she really did it. Remember how close we all were?"

She remembered and so did Ron. Her engagement to Harry had lasted less time than Ron's engagement to Hermione, but it fizzled out too. It's hard to live your life when everyone is watching. It's hard to be an adult when you've never been a kid. When the urgency and fear of the last few years started to fade and be replaced by obsessive attention and pressure, it was hard enough to be a whole person much less a couple.

"Remember waking up in the morning and feeling…I don't know hopeful?"

"Yeah…Merlin, it's been awhile, huh?" Ron replied as he slung his arm around Harry's shoulders.

They defeated the Dark Lord. They saved the Wizarding World. When Voldemort fell, the victors breathed a uniform sigh of relief. The hard part was over. It didn't take long for the survivors to realize the fragile state of their world, their lives. Families, buildings, people were decimated. The death of Voldemort didn't eradicate the rampant corruption or greed of The Ministry and it didn't destroy bigotry or erase inequality. They opened the door, but the house still needed to be cleaned. Generations of dirt, cobwebs, stains, and skeletons take time to remove. To rebuild may take more than fighting ever did.

"I think maybe we got old too fast." Ginny said as she wrapped her arm around her former fiancée's waist.

"I didn't really see a way around it, did you?" Ron answered with a laugh.

Harry sighed, "Let's get out of here. I want to go run through some things at work. See if maybe we can't pick up her trail."

"You know if she wants to disappear, we'll never find her." Ron stated.

Harry tried to ignore the sadness the crept into Ron's words, "Yeah, mate. I know. But, it's worth a shot. I don't think she would leave us entirely without some kind of goodbye."

"Let's get something eat. Then we'll head over and do some research like the old days."

Harry let out a laugh and confused look on Ron's face made him laugh harder. "You never did a day's research in the _old days_."

Ron's face turned red, "I did so, Mione," That was the first time anyone had said her name since they found out she was missing. The sound of her name echoed in the empty room, "…she was just better at it than me."

The realization that their friend was gone hung heavy in the air. But, she hadn't died. Death was something they were accustomed to. A cynic might even say handling death was something they were good at. To lose one's friend entirely always left behind a heavy sadness, but it was a feeling they knew how to play. To lose one's friend because they chose to walk away? That left behind a hollow sadness tinged anger and hurt. No one wanted to call it a betrayal, but that is what it felt like. Destiny brought them together. Their lives had been intertwined since the age of 11. They were Dumbledore's Army, they were the saviors of Hogwarts, and they were friends. It hurt that she would chose to walk out of their story. But, everyone in that room understood the desire to start over, to write an entirely new story with one's own hand.

"Yeah, let get some dinner. That's a great idea." Ginny said breaking the heavy silence that had fallen.

Together the three friends made their way out of the empty apartment. Each trapped in their own thoughts. Harry snaked an arm around Ginny's waist and pulled her into a hug. She kept a tight grip on his hand as they made their way onto the street. Ron risked one last glance over his shoulder. Foolishly hoping, he turned and prayed she would be standing there, but, Hermione Granger was nowhere in sight. He closed the door tightly behind him and made his way down the stairs.

* * *

An ocean away, Hermione Granger stepped off of a plane and breathed in deep the smell of a whole new city and brand new start.


End file.
